so what’s keeping me busy last week?

so I haven’t posted anything last week because because… I was busy being lazy—MEH. but but BUT!!!! the whole week has been pretty productive too when it comes to my K-DRAMA list ~haha~ and ~obviously~ chores chores chores.

I finished re-watching the taiwanese drama: it started with a kiss and they kissed again while I download the k-drama called blood starring ahn jae hyun and ku hye sun and another t-drama: fall in love with me but haven’t started it yet. I really really REALLY want to watch while you are sleeping already but it is still on going and I want it to be completed first before I watch it because I really really REALLY hate waiting (lol) but I can’t wait anymore because there are a lot of spoilers on IG and yes I already watched some clips BUT I HOLD M Y S E L F BACK—FOR THE LOVE OF MY BB LEE JONG SUK. <33

another thing that made me busy is my two baskets of laundry and still counting. I. HATE. LAUNDRY. I. HATE. LAUNDRY. I. HATE. DOING. THE. LAUNDRY. unluckily, the washing machine is broken so I need to hand wash all our clothes and my hands are now sore and red and my skin is peeling because of some kind of irritation and I have wounds too. T~T I don’t know if that is because of the detergent or is it just because I am thin-skinned.

oh journals, I almost forgot about it. I am enjoying writing in my journals since the day I started it again because it keeps me sane (should I say that? haha) and it totally clears my head so it helps a lot. I already bought another notebook just in case.

AND LAST, I HAVE THIS APP called lingodeer—an app which help me learn korean. HA! but seriously I decided to self-study the korean language because my brain feels like it is going to rust anytime soon. ofc I chose korean because I am kinda obsessed and addicted to korean dramas lately (LATELY huh??) which I think will be a great help while watching. the app offers chinese and japanese lessons too and you can download an offline learning which I really like so that I can have the lessons even if I have no wi-fi. ok, just sharing. bye! =))

so yea, that’s it. here’s a sort of a little update and just to let you know that I am still alive and kicking.

♡ A

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just a thought

yes. sometimes there are things that we get used to but these things can keep us alive or sometimes the other way around. we just need to accept it whether we like it or not; it’s part of life and it is inevitable, right? but I wonder why such things, of all the things that matter, just easily fade away. is it about the timing? or the space that we are in? or both?

I just dont know. I don’t know at all.

but I still believe that there’s a right place for everything. maybe not now or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. but soon, I am sure. when everything falls into place; without complications, hindrances and other rocks that will block along the way.

the sunday currently | 12 // back to journals and green tea + I have something to share with you

the truth is (1) I am back to journalling since last month. I decided to write again in my notebook because there are certain things that even if I wanted to share it here, guess it is better for me not to. I know this space is for my unfiltered thoughts but sometimes my brain is acting up like a B and betray me with thoughts that I shouldn’t have in the first place. so far, I am enjoying it and it helps me a lot to de-clutter my not-so chaotic mind. ha! and (2) I am choosing tea over coffee right now. I think coffee makes me more sleepless at night and makes me feel bloated (I don’t know if that is the reason why) so the boyfriend bought 2 boxes of green tea and 2 bags of chamomile (which I love, it helps me sleep better) and mint tea (for him).

so here’s the thing: my aunt owns a cat and her cat gave birth to two adorable kittens earlier in the morning, one is black with a spot of white and the other one is pure white. my aunt informed me thru text and jokingly said that I am now a godmother to her kittens. I know she wanted to give me a kitten, knowing that I loss my mimichi. but I have a feeling that I should not take it. ugh. what should I do? what should I do? the kitten is so cute and I think the father cat has a breed so for sure the kittens will grow into a beautiful cat. deep inside I want it but my mind says no I should not.

CURRENTLY

Reading some blogs and I am reading All Our Wrong Todays by Elan Mastai on my phone, sort of a warm-up because I think I am on a reading slump for months now. I am trying to re-read some of my favorite novels but when I am starting to read it, I lost interest after a few pages and I don’t know why. I hate that feeling. I used to finish a book in two days but now I am having a hard time finishing a chapter. W H AT I S W R O N G W I T H M E ? ? I have so many unfinished book, left it halfway and pile it up back to the shelf together with dust but still I hope I can finish All Our Wrong Todays so that I can catch up with my TBR list.

Writing this sunday currently entry. :—)

Listening 

Thinking about how time flies so fast. I T I S N O V E M B E R now!!! I already feeling the christmas air and vibe. ugh, 2017 is going to end but still, the plot twist that I have been waiting for is not yet happening. but even though 2017 has been a rollercoaster ride, I am so much thankful for what’s given to me–life-wise: expectations and failures and experience and learnings.

Hoping that everything will be all right—that my sister will be much mature and more serious about life and relationship, that she learned her lessons and be more responsible for her own decisions and that Qatar will treat her much better than she deserves. though sometimes we have some misunderstandings but I hope she don’t take it to her heart because all I want for her is to be happy and I don’t want her to be trapped in a dark room, blaming herself and full of self-hatred. I know the feeling and I don’t want her to feel that too. I know that she’s much stronger person than me, I know that she can do it.

Wearing a cute pink panda pajama shorts. 😀

Loving my boyfriend. Hahaha because he’s being extra sweet these past few days. I don’t know what raw food he ate but I really like this side of him.

Wanting to buy a camera. really. calling the attention of the parentals!!!!! 

Needing a lot of washi tapes and stationery stuff for my notebook. the good boyfriend bought me a new notebook and a ball point pen with six colors. I really really love it!!!!!! ❤

Feeling contented and happy. 😀

Clicking nothing.

join the sunday currently link-up by siddathornton

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sunday is my favorite day of the week but two baskets of laundry is waiting for me. so, I think my sunday is a little bit productive, eh? hope y’all have a great and productive sunday too!

♡ A

 

things I miss but

I think I became another person since I moved here in Pampanga. I don’t know how or when, but it feels like I am living inside another human being that is totally opposite of myself when I was still in Manila. I never go out of the house, mingle with other people or even just attempt to talk with the neighbors—I am not like that before. it was like I built another wall between myself and the outside world, for what? to get away from the people, to mouthfuls of issues and rumors I can’t get hold to anymore or I just want to be with myself—simple as that.

I got used to the feeling of being alone. it feels good to be alone and not to think of others but my brain is contradicting me, betraying me with thoughts I should not welcome. I keep on saying that I should ignore all of it and just live with it but still, it affects me in so many ways. but

I miss having friends. I miss talking to another person face to face. I miss having to catch up with a friend and talk for hours until we ran out of stories to tell. I miss going out with friends—movie nights and food trips. I miss the feeling of comfortable silence and just begin to laugh about nothing. I miss the way we laugh over a corny jokes. I miss everything I have back when I was still in Manila.

but things are different now.

reblogged: Of Sun And Waves

so I was back-reading my blog, fixed a few things and put my ‘spilled ink’ back to the menu then suddenly I remembered my boyfriend. he was so bitter and jealous when he found out that I am fond of writing letters and make THAT face in front of me because he has not received any letters or notes from me. he has no idea that I am secretly writing him love notes and put it in a small bottle and until now he has no idea about it. then I found this piece I wrote for him when he still didn’t know about this blog and I am sure that he’s not reading this so I am re-blogging this because it was our 22nd month of being together yesterday. ♡

♡A

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I really really have a soft spot for cats & dogs but I think I should not have a pet. here’s why:

cats and dogs are like babies to me. they are like fur balls that wash away all the stress I have everyday and I am so thankful for their existence. I really have a soft spot for them that I think I am not good at taking good care of them. I get so emotional when they get sick, I get so emotional when they really like the food I give to them, and I get so emotional when I lost them. it hurts me as bad as, or much more rather, than a relationship break-up. I hate feeling that way. and as much as I want to take home all the stray cats on the street and feed them, I know I can’t.

today I woke up to a sad news. after a long day of finding my kitten yesterday, I found her this morning, cold and lifeless. my heart crushed into pieces and just cried in my room. I’ve been crying since the day I lost her. my poor mimi. </3 gosh, tears are coming out, again. I am so mad, so mad, that people are so cruel. I keep saying to myself that it is much better if someone found her and feed her that everything’s going to be okay because my mimi is so sweet and adorable and people will really like her. but this morning, I feel like I am wronged. I hate it. I really hate my neighborhood. this is not the first time. I also had a kitten before, but our neighbor found it but never returned it to me and you know what they did? they gave my kitten to the kids playing around their area and they know that I was looking for a kitten but they gave it to the kids anyway. I AM SO MAD. cats and dogs have feelings too.

I think I am not going to have a cat for a long time from now on. I hate myself. I’m a bad mother. I really really love cats but I think I am not ready to have one right now. I am emotionally not ready.

 

hi,

you have no idea how much thankful I am having you in my life. though sometimes we have our petty fights or me being such a brat, but, gosh, I feel like I don’t deserve all the love that you are giving to me. you are always the one to understand, or should I say, you are the one to put a lot of patience in this relationship and for that, I am beyond thankful for your mere existence.

I thank God that I met you. maybe we are total opposite but opposites do attract, right? we learn to appreciate each other’s flaws and differences, and it may be tough sometimes but that’s  what makes our relationship much stronger.

I love you and everything about you. don’t  you ever forget that!

words really aren’t enough. I may not have a romantic bone in my system but I will keep saying this: I love you and that you should know this by now. even if I get mad at you over nothing, or if we have petty fights over little things, please know that I won’t get tired of you. I feel like I should be the one to say: I hope you won’t get tired of me. I only want to make plans with you and ONLY YOU.

Happy birthday, habibi.

I love you.