sleep, pls come to me

Sleep—the only thing that I craved for these past few days and I don’t even know why I am having a hard time sleeping when I have nothing in my head. Sure that’s a good thing: having nothing to think of, but even though that’s the case, I just can’t have a good night sleep.

It‘s already 11:44 p.m., I am typing this while my boyfriend is sleeping like a baby beside me, and I am feeling envious on how he can sleep in a short span of time while I already counted from 1 to 100 in my head and pondered on things that I don’t usually think of, still I am far being sleepy.

Okay, I don’t know where this entry will go, but let me share with you guys how my day went.

So I slept in my boyfriend’s place yesterday because today was his day-off and the plan was to do the laundry. Yes, he did the laundry. Lol. The thing is, I really hate doing the laundry, even washing the dishes because it always make my hands so dry and itchy. It was very convenient when we do our laundry in their house because they have a dryer. So while waiting for him to finish, I download another k-drama series and a movie, Love Rain and You are my Pet (if you are familiar), and read some blogs too.

It was 6pm when we decided to go home, but first we headed to a gift shop to buy a gift for his inaanak. And luckily, there’s a new Daiso Japan store so we checked it out first. AND TODAY IS MY DAY. I found a very cute notebook and cute stationeries, and the good boyfriend bought it for me. Hahaha! After 173538272 years, I have a new notebook. Then, we had cheeseburger and fries from McDo for dinner and went home.

Days are always like this for me—monotonous and ordinary. Nothing much happened to me lately. Aside from having a hard time sleeping, I am so fine being bored and not being sad or depressed, which is good news ofc.

Time check: 12:28 a.m., and my eyes started to feel heavy, and I am feeling it already. Time to hit the sack. Good night.

♡ A

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What annoys me the most?

I was too busy on being annoyed and hot-headed and frustrated on everything out of I-don’t-know months back, but one thing’s for sure: I am so familiar with the word annoyance that I think I became the epitome of it. Lol, kidding aside. The list of the things that annoy me flows rapidly in my head when I start thinking about it. So for this entry, I will write about the things that annoy me the most and how I deal with it. (Okay, I am feeling productive right now. Hahaha!)

  • I don’t like others touching and/or using my things, especially if it’s my favorite one, without asking me first. I can give you some of my things but you should ask me first.
  • I don’t like repeating myself over and over again. Like, when somebody ask me then I already gave my answer then you will ask me again the same question. It’s irritating. Another example is when my mother ask me to say a word to my sister, about being pasaway and that. For me, once is enough. napagsabihan na kita, nagawa ko na part ko and if di mo ko pinakinggan, problema mo na ‘yon. Simple as that.
  • When it comes to my books, I think I already wrote an entry about it here.
  • They always say that I have no romantic bone because I easily get irritated if you started being clingy on me. I don’t even like grand gestures or big surprises. (still I appreciate it. But as much as possible I don’t like that much attention) It really annoys me. But I am trying to change this attitude because obviously it’s one of the reasons why me and the boyf always fight. #Fact: we always have petty fights over little things. Okay, I think I know what I should write next. Bwahahaha!
  • MY BOYFRIEND. LOL. Seriously, he annoys the hell out of me. Okay, I understand that he needs lambing too, but too much is not healthy. Di ba nga masama yung sobrang tamis sa katawan, baka magka-Diabetes. Lol corny. I am trying not to be dependent and overly attached on him, you know, mahirap pag nakasanayan na.
  • I can’t handle kids being makulit and yung maingay talaga. Nakakarindi. I prefer infants, kasi laging tulog.
  • I don’t like when people step on my feet. Be it intentional or not.
  • Making comparisons about me and another individual.
  • When someone makes a prank on me. Pero I love the feeling when I am the one who’s doing the pranks. #Fact: epal talaga ako. 😂

Okay, I’ll end this here. Baka ano pa masulat ko dito. Hahahaha! But let me say this again, I am easy to please. So, pls don’t judge. Lol. How about you? What are the things that annoy you the most?

♡ A

“Of all the people I know, I am sure you are definitely one who will succeed.”

Back to the days when I was so down and depressed, an unexpected message from an unexpected person popped up in my chat box. It was all sudden and took me a solid five seconds to realize that it was that person and the only word—and actually an awkward reply I could think of that time was HAHAHA, because that was me. LOL.

The whole conversation was not awkward at all. I will not write about it but there is one thing that he told me that I will never forget.

“Of all the people I know, I am sure you are definitely one who will succeed.”

I am not being too proud of myself but I must say that I am good at school. Aside from high expectations I am getting from my family, and being enrolled in a private school, I really had fun studying and never had a problem with it. Until college where I took up Mass Communication but unfortunately, I still have one year to finish. And that’s where the problem comes in. I think it is just one of the reasons why my momentum stopped, and that’s why I am kind of lost.

But it hits me hard when that person told me this, and realize that I was that kind of person before my momentum stopped. Maybe I was too afraid to make a move, not knowing what will happen or maybe I lost interest on the things I really love to do. But I came to my senses that moment when he told me that, and I think that’s what I needed.

And right now, I am back on track. I used up a lot of energy and time for what? Self-hatred? Self-pity? On being sad and depressed? Not knowing that there’s more, that it is not too late, that everything will fall into its right place at the right time. I am not that optimistic, but I am really trying my best to be one. I used to have a plan, as in everything was smoothly planned in my head and I got to do some of it. But along the way I got swayed, that’s why I found myself lost somewhere.

While writing this entry, I am getting to know more of myself, of what I really want to do, of the plans I made before, and what will happen to me in the future. I wish I can see things through time machines but I guess we can’t have everything we want and it takes time. I still want to make and write my own documentary films, organize an event, write about the places that I’ve been to, and to live in an island.

♡ A

​10 things that make me really happy.

Maybe I am a little materialistic when it comes to things that make me happy though not every single thing I have really makes me happy. Gets? 😂 I haven’t think of it lately because of how my emotions had been a rollercoaster ride these past few months. But now, thinking of it, I think I can write at least 10 things that make me really happy. Okay, please don’t judge me. Hahaha.

1. I will start off with anything cute. Cute ball pens, cute notebooks, cute bookmarks, cute paper tapes, cute ponytails, cute hairpins, cute anything. I really like cute stuff but I am not really girly. Lol.

2. For the love of sweets: Chocolate bars, Choco baby, Apollo, candies, wafers, marshmallows, cookies, cotton candy. But, #Fact: I don’t like chocolates with fruits and nuts. For my cotton candy, I always like the pink one.

3. I always need my caffeine to be fixed in my system first thing in the morning. There is a big possibility that my day will go smoothly after that. #Fact: sometimes I get to drink 3 cups of coffee in a day. After I got sick for a month, my doctor forbids me to drink coffee and avoid too much sweets (which is one of the things that make me really happy), that makes me a little sad. Ofc, I didn’t stop drinking coffee and eating sweets after what happened but I just drink/eat it moderately like once na lang ako magcoffee in a day and one bar of hanybar nalang. (masarap ang bawal, di ba?)

4. MY BOOKS. Reading makes me happy. When my mind is in total chaos, I just need a good book to divert myself. And I have this i-don’t-know if I am the only one, but I really love the smell of my books and I always like sniff through the pages first before I read them. Lol. Aside from this blog, reading and at the same time locking myself in my room is my another escape.

5. Aside from sweets, FOOD IS LIFE. You can always bring me to food trips, buffet and eat-all-you-can restaurants, the pleasure will always be mine. Who doesn’t love to eat? Though me and my tummy is happy, my wallet is crying. Hahahahaha!

So the first 5, obviously, are the tangible things where I find happiness from. (or yan lang yung pumasok sa utak ko as of now) I think I am not hard to please, but if you’ve done something wrong to me, it’s really hard for me to forget. But if you say sorry and mean it, I’ll probably forgive you easily. I think that’s one of my weaknesses. So, moving on.

6. I am not good at starting conversation but I really love small talks and deep conversations. And it really makes me happy knowing that someone wants to talk to me even if I am the worst you can talk to. I admit it, I am not good at topics and I always reply with OK or Hahahaha or really not related to the topic until the other person won’t reply anymore. And that’s okay with me because I got used to it. So, if you stayed in our conversation for one hour, then I think you’re pretty special. 😄

7. Sunsets and Rainy days.

8. My heart flutters with pure joy every time a person do little things for me. Like my boyfriend everytime he braids my hair and playing with my hair for me to sleep. Everytime my sister ask me if I would like to have coffee (knowing that I like my coffee in the morning) or when a friend tweets me, or leaves me a private message asking how am I or they just missed me. Something like that.

9. Is it weird that I am happy when I am pissing off or making silly jokes on someone until they become pissed off or mad with me. Lol, but it’s true. Ang epal ko lang.

10. Things I am making in my head. From the plans I am making even though I am not sure if it will happen in the future. I have this weird habit of making sequence of images flashing inside my head, sort of imagining things out of wanting and needing. Just thinking all of it make me  really happy.

That’s it. The first time I tried writing this entry seemed too hard for me, not that I don’t really know myself too well but I find it hard to think of all the things that make me happy when I am not that really happy. Okay, okay, baka saan pa ‘to mapunta. Also, I really hope you get to know me more with this post.

♡ A

what’s inside my head?

it’s definitely not a chaos, at least that’s what i think. i always have, or make rather, these sequence of images, frame by frame, inside my head then i’ll be replaying it, like dailies, filtering all the unwanted shots and picking out the good ones. sometimes i make something good out of it, but not all the time.  or maybe i was just out of good shots?

there is no script, it is all impromptu. so i don’t really know how the stories in my head goes or even end. but i like it—the spontaneity, the rawness, while my subconscious playing with it. that’s a good thing for me, i guess. for i need an escape, and i mastered it, disguise it through a flick.

but i don’t want it only in my head, i thought. 

 

 

the sunday currently | 10

halu halu! :–) it’s sunday again, and as much as i want to share how was my week, there’s nothing really interesting happened to me aside from locking myself in my room and binge-watched some korean tv series. i really really really love my baby wookie. 

i am still here at the boyf’s. the plan is for me to download some k-series, and when i was about to look for it in kissasian.com, the website has been shut down by abscbn. and i was like, WHHHHHAAAT? so i am lost right now because i don’t know any sites aside from kissasian where i can download k-drama. so if you know some websites where i can download korean series, feel free to comment below. you’ll be my angel.

i still have suspicious partner to finish though i already watched it twice and i still can’t get enough of JCW. i really really really love how charming and cute my wookie baby acts on this series. it wasn’t full-packed with action unlike his other series. it was so refreshing. but what i don’t like how the story went–it was pretty predictable.

moving on…

CURRENTLY

Reading paulo coelho’s eleven minutes. i am on the last 100+ pages, and it is very enlightening, coming from the view of a prostitute finding her “light” and true love. i’ll be writing another entry about this book. not really a book review but i’ll be sharing my favorite quotes from the book.

i am planning to read the alchemist next.

Writing this sunday currently entry. 🙂

Listening to meiko’s under my bed.

Thinking (1) if i should write something about the rumors about me (which made me so stressed and sad and frustrated) though i am not quite sure if somebody i know personally reads my blog, that will cause another rumor. lol (2) how to make my life happier? (3) it is already BER months and i still have no work. though a resort already called me and told me that they will call me again after two weeks for my interview so i am still waiting for it. *fingers crossed*

Hoping THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. repeat 20x until it comes true.

Wearing my pjs from last night. i still haven’t take a bath. lol

Loving how my boyfriend’s being considerate and patient when i am having my tantrums. i think he’s getting used to it. :”)

Wanting (still) a new notebook. meh

Needing someone to talk to. maybe you can tweet me or send me a dm over twitter. pls, make me happy.

Feeling okay(?) hahahahahaha!!!!

Clicking nothing. 😀

please suggest a good book to read, a feel-good or rom-com or maybe, another K-drama series? 😀 have a great sunday!!!

♡ A
join the sunday currently link-up by siddathornton

ganap lately

For the past couple of days of not writing, I drowned myself in the pleasure of watching my oppa, Ji Chang Wook. Lol. I watched all of his K-drama series and movies AGAIN, FOR THE NTH TIME. Walang sawa. Graveeeh yung obsession ko sa kanya. Napapatanong na lang ako sa sarili ko kung bakit mahal na mahal ko siya. I used him as my diversion. I even save photos, videos and GIFs of him, and made a solo album just for him. Hahahahaha!! ♡ but I am really not a K-pop fan. Siguro sa kanya lang talaga (second si Lee Jong Suk) XD

So ayun na nga, I set his photo as my wallpaper and the boyfriend, jokingly (pero deep inside hindi) told me to delete the album. But the fan girl in me says NO ofc, and I replied, ikaw nga kung mag-save ka ng pictures ni Kim Domingo wala akong sinasabi. And ayun, natahimik siya. So wala rin siyang nagawa.

I sometimes makes him watch Kdrama with me pero nacocornihan raw siya. So di ko na pinilit.

Back to Wookie baby, mahal na mahal ko talaga siya, nasa point na ako na winiwish ko na di na siya magka-girl friend. Lol. Maybe if I am in Korea right now, I’ll be his stalker. I also sometimes having dreams of him, na magka-date kami. Ang saya lang. Oh di ba hanggang sa panaginip yung pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Hay.

Good mood ako ngayon. 😀 So I want to share my favorite Ji Chang Wook series & movie:

(1) Fabricated City – a movie about a gamer slash ex-gold medalist who has been set-up for a crime. Intense nito, grabe. Kaso hindi ko alam kung updated na yung subtitle sa kissasian, pero sobrang nakaka-mindfvck ng movie na to.

(2) Healer – night courier siya dito and connected yung story ni Young Shin (lead female) at siya, and yung mga parents nila and yung friends ng parents nila. Sobrang naaastigan lang ako kapag may hacker na role. Hahaha! Mas bet ko Healer kesa the K2. Pero mas hot siya sa the K2 kasi may pa-abs siya dun. Hihihi.

It’s 11:47 pm and I am here at the boyfriend’s, typing this entry using my phone, and I’ll be downloading some K-dramas later after he’s done playing his DOTA2.

PS: I am still in the process of making myself happy, so expect random posts. :—)