note to self

i know that you have so much regrets in the past, and that you can’t go back in time to change any of it. but i just want to say that it’s okay, you are still okay and you’ll be okay. but

i wished you were strong enough that time, strong enough to make your own decisions and not get easily swayed with a single word; that you had the gut to say whatever it is in your heart, whether if it’s right or wrong. i know it has been hard for you to keep all those words to yourself and all those misunderstandings and shortcomings. now, i am saying this to you: don’t be afraid of what others might think or say about you. it’s more important to open yourself up, say what you really want to say, may it be an opinion or an argument and even if others might don’t understand you, at least you have said what you really wanted to say.

i wished you got to experience life more, though there’s more. i know you wanted to please everyone around you before, that’s why you acted upon their approval and forgot to let yourself to had fun. i know it was your choice too but what i am trying to say is, i wished you go out more with your friends, had your sleepover and movie nights. i know you always say no because you always think of what your family would say. you don’t want them to be disappointed, that you only think of was their expectations. but you see, i think what you did was so selfish. you were being selfish on yourself. you never let yourself to live life and you focus more on other’s opinion, but the truth is, you forgot to have your own opinion on yourself. now, i am saying this to you: YOLO: you only live once so make the most out of life. you don’t want to regret all the things that you should have done so start now.

maybe you think that it was too late but it’s not. you have more time in your hands. you are still young, and there’s more adventures and trials yet to come along your way but you’ll be fine, i promise and i believe in you. you just need to open your eyes in all possibilities and just do what makes you happy. also, don’t expect too much — on life in general.

you deserve to live a happy life!

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there’s something about sunsets

The sun’s setting down, leaving some shades of red and orange; a majestic view I longed for before the day ends — a proof that endings are beautiful too. The warmth that it gives, added a calming effect to wash away the jitters creeping onto me as the night unfolds into the skyline. Sure there’s something about sunsets.

I love how its color seeps through in my windows, reflecting its beauty even if I chose to lock myself in my box-type room, washing away the sullen state of it. Maybe, just maybe, it’s just a sign that gives off a glimpse of what’s more outside my window, and all I need to do is to open that window or step out of the room.

Even if we had a long day, good or bad, something beautiful is waiting for us at the end of the day.

Such a beautiful life we have, and all we need is to admire and enjoy the beauty of it. Even if it’s the end of the day or the beginning, we always have something to be thankful for.

the sunday currently | 06

Yay for Sundays! :—)

The whole week, I must say, has been quite productive for me. Aside from some episodes of having this feeling of uneasiness before hitting the sack (maybe I am just too afraid to see things outside of my window again?). I slept alone last night because the boyfriend needed to go home because his nephews were all alone and needed company. So there I was, wide awake – light’s on, while I was busy staring at my glow-in-the-dark stars that I sticked up to my ceiling, letting my body sense some indescribable feeling of fear that my mind can’t let off; struggling to let my body and mind to drift off to dreamland.

I can say that I am okay. 😀

I have this habit of reading a book then stop at a middle of a chapter and read another book. Like there are times that my span of attention is easily caught off by another, that’s why. So as of now, aside from reading the Wuthering Heights, I’ve been eyeing two more books from my bookshelf – Ned Vizzini’s  It’s Kind Of Funny Story and Paul Murray’s Skippy Dies. I hope want to finish it by next month because I’ve been slacking off from reading and I want to give more of my time in reading.

Next week, we’ll be visiting Manila again for my inaanak’s birthday party and maybe have some catching up with my college friend. Hoping to see him again after so many years. We decided to have lunch instead of seeing each other in the afternoon because I haven’t much time because we’ll be just staying overnight of the 19th then 20th is the bday party. I just forced to jam some time for it. Though I want to have a loooooong catching up to do with him.

So, Sundays are for The Sunday currently entry, here you go!

CURRENTLY

Reading as mention above, I am currently (still) reading the Wuthering Heights, and also eyeing for two more books, Skippy Dies and It’s Kind Of Funny Story. :—)

Writing this entry!!!!

Listening to nothing aside from the tv commercials.

Thinking of dyeing my hair black. My hair’s growing too sloooooooow. I want my loooong hair back. (though I love my pixie hair)

Hoping that this week will be more productive than last week. Hehehehe. Kinda helps me not to worry about all the things that happening to me. 🙂

Wearing a gray shirt and pink shorts. 

Loving the fact that it rains almost every night which makes the night colder than before. This is my favorite time where I get to wear my cutesy pjs.

Wanting some caaash. 😀

Needing some caaaaaashh. 😀

Feeling blessed to be surrounded with positivity and awe-inspiring people.

Clicking nothing. 🙂

Hope y’all have a great Sunday!!!! x

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