i have a feeling

that things are going well right now. aside from not having episodes of being sad for nothing and well, thinking that all the odds are against me, but something good happened last night and i didn’t expect it.

you’ll never have a chance to meet a person who will never ever judge you, even though you made the worst thing in the world. you’ll never have a chance to meet a person who will make you realize your mistakes and not blame you for doing that, thus he will makes fun of you because of the mistake you’ve done. you’ll never have a chance to meet a person who knows you more than anyone else, a person who can distinguish your true emotions behind your laugh, or even when you don’t say a word, they already know what you want to say. you’ll never have a chance to meet a person who can ride with your jokes and silly games and at the same time, talks about serious matter about life and other things. you’ll never have a chance to meet a person who will hang out with you all day and buys you a tub of ice cream when you need it. and if you already found a person like this, treasure him/her because they are one of a kind.

well, i have this friend. i considered him as a best friend back in high school and we lost in touch because some things happened. for two years we didn’t talk, we said things to each other out of anger and disappointment, and at the same time, he moved out of the country with his family, that’s why we never had a chance to talk about what happened and get things right and i thought i will never be able to talk to him again.

i am shookt lol. literally shocked, that’s my initial reaction. i really didn’t know what or how to reply. imagine after not talking for two years as in no message or even hi or hello and all of the things we said to each other, it took minutes for me before i realized that he really messaged me, saying that he missed me. and the craziest, awkward part is i  just replied “uyyyyyyyyyyy” with a crying emoticon pa! gaaad.

i won’t talk about the rest of our conversation, but i am really really really happy that we are okay now and he actually said sorry for not talking to me for two damn years. hahaha. i understand him on the part of not talking to me because i know i somehow i hurt him, even though it was not really my intention.

i really value friendship over everything that’s why i felt sad and guilty of what happened between us. i have few real friends that are really for keeps and i am so lucky to have them in my life. ❤

 

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4 days with toffy💕

after 5 looooong years, we got to see each other again. if i remember it right, the last time we saw each other was when we’re still in university, and that time we barely see each other that much though we’re in the same campus. 😂 funny that we didn’t even plan seeing each other this time, but i am beyond happy that we got to catch up and do fun things together again. it’s really true that it’s better not to plan things because it will surely happen.

from a 3-hour drive from manila, she stayed here in pampanga for 4 days; that 4 days were full of stories and catching up–from boys to rants and about life and future plans. we never ran out of stories and chikas to share. she never changed, she’s still that talkative and funny and crazy girl that i know. 😂

i already shared some of the things we did from day 1 & 2 here, and now i’ll be sharing where we went in her day 3 & 4 of her stay here in pampanga. i am really excited to share this with you guys!💖


there’s a mini falls located here called dara falls, and for about less than an hour walk from our house, you can go and see the beauty of it. she’s into mountain hiking and that sort of adventures, that’s why we decided to tour her around a little. though it’s just a small one, she was so ecstatic and giddy and excited. you can see in her eyes, right?

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we enjoyed the water and took a lot of pictures (i already pick the good ones because most of it are stolen shots, imagine what our faces look like 😂) that’s all we did on her day 3.

luckily on the last day of her stay here, my boyfriend’s mother decided to have a quick getaway. they planned to go swimming in poracay and they tagged us along. i, myself, got excited because it was my first time there. fyi: it is a well-known resort here in porac, pampanga. there’s so many swimming pools and other activities that you can experience: there’s zipline and kayak (paddle boats). also, there’s a man-made lagoon where you can rent a kayak.

before anything else, KILAY IS LIFE. 😂

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my sister brought her waterproof eye brow kit, and you know the drill: kilay first before swimming. LOL. and after that, we walked around first to take pictures and whoa, we never thought that it was really a big resort. but still, we enjoyed it even we got burn under the sun because we captured a lot of photos to be posted in our instagram accounts. hahahaha 😂


to wrap up everything: i am so happy that she enjoyed her stay here in pampanga. even if it was a really short time, we got to catch up everything and we got more closer than before. she said that she would like to come back and stay here again. 😂 we already decided to have our samgyeopsal night when she comes back and i am super excited for that.

the smaller circle, the better

They say that change is the only constant thing in the world, that not everything will stay as it is, same as people as they come and go. I never came to this realization not until I entered college. That time, I thought I knew who were my true, real friends (or maybe I am still in the process of knowing who’s real or not).

I am a people-person back when I was in high school, like I knew every faces in my year (and higher year). It was not like I was famous lol but it was not really so hard to know all of them because I am enrolled in a private school since grade school until I graduated high school, and we had only 3 to 4 sections with maximum of 35 students per class, that’s why. Because of that, I know most of them and became my friends. I really thought that all my friends that time will remain my friends until now, but obviously that’s not the case.

Not until I entered college, most of the people I know (and considered as my friends) lost in touch little by little. I know that it’s normal, that eventually we we’ll meet new people at some point, but you see, I am very sentimental and I valued friendship over everything.

Right now, I am happy with my friends even if it is just a small circle. Even if we don’t see each other that often and just only talk over chat, we know in ourselves that we have each other’s back when someone needed it and I think that’s what’s important. I won’t be needing a bunch of people who are not sincere and true and prefer a few who’s been always on my side and keeping it real.

You see, I made this post because a friend from Manila went to visit me here in Pampanga — three-hour drive. And I was super happy because after 5 LOOOOONG years we got to see each other again. She’s staying here until Sunday and it’s her 2nd day today. I know there’s more stories to tell and fun things to do yet.

Let me share to you guys some of the things that we did (more of selfies) since her arrival. HAHAHA!!!

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  • we cooked and we didn’t know what we’re doing. We tried to make a pancake but we don’t know how to flip it right. XD
  • make-up session with my sister (and a mini photoshoot)
  • more chika and catching up
  • watched Ji Chang Wook’s Fabricated City and Healer (we are now on episode 5)
  • We are planning to go to a small waterfall here and to capture more pictures!!! 😀
  • And go swimming before she go hiking in Tarlac.

Okay, consider this as a appreciation post for her. ❤ ❤

I once had a best friend (and other stories)

I am very jealous, envious rather, when I see my sister and her best friend. I am very opened to them on how I wished to have that kind of friendship but never had a chance or I had a chance but didn’t get a hold of it for a very long time. My sister and her best friend had known each other for eight long years. Would you imagine that? And until now, though Pinky, her best friend’s name, moved to Mindoro and decided to live there for two years after living with us for a long time. I think this will be the first time that those two would be separated from each other.

They are very close up to the point where they share almost everything — clothes, foods, house, (and even boyfriend. Lol — but it is true. Her boyfriend is everyone’s boyfriend. Not that he’s sleeping with everyone, but he acts as a boyfriend to all of us since we already knew each other personally and we lived in the same roof whenever they wanted and I think that’s cute and sweet.) plus she’s cool with that.

I once had a best friend. I met her in second grade, we were in the same class. I remember she’s alone and since our surname starts with letter M, we were in the same line in the seat plan and became close since then. But in our third grade, I transferred school and I felt sad that time because I wasn’t going to see her if I transferred school. I moved to a public school because I think we were financially challenged that time and my mother was working abroad that time, that was the time I experienced to be bullied since I came from a private school. After the bullying incident, and when my grandmother knew about it because my grades went down from the line of 9’s to 7’s, she decided to transfer me back to the private school that I enrolled before and I remember being happy that time; not because I will be free from those kids who bullied me, but I will be able to see my friend again.

Luckily, I was in the same class with my friend J and since then, we became best friends. We graduated, and went to high school together. Soon we entered high school, our friendship started to fade out. Since grade school, we have the same class together. We have the same circle of friends, but when we set foot as a high school-er, things became different. We were no longer in the same class. We met different people and created new circle of friends. We were still close but not that close compared when we were in grade school. That made me sad. Until we graduated high school, little did we notice that our friendship faded out and we didn’t know how it happened.

I had another best friend, but this time it was a boy best friend. I met him in my junior year and through a mutual friend. I never thought that I will be close to him. At first, it was awkward because I felt unsure if he really wanted friendship or more than that. I was not wrong, he attempted to ask me to be his girlfriend but I said no. I reasoned out that I find him comfortable, that I don’t want to lose him, that he’s the only person that time that I trusted the most. And since that confession, we somehow lost our communication. Maybe to find what we really wanted or maybe he was hurt from what I said. But not too long, he talked to me again and said that he was cool being only my best friend. Up until now, we’re still best friends, but we don’t talk that often because of our personal relationships. My boyfriend and her girlfriend were the jealous type, and I totally understand it. What’s important to me is I get to talk to him when I have my problems and same with him.

But, what do you think about that? Being not able to talk casually with your guy best friend (if you were a girl) just because of the girlfriend? This is my say about it: before you had your girl, you knew me first right? So why not talk to me AND YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND FOR GOOD’S SAKE? Where were you when I needed someone to talk to? And to the jealous-type girlfriends of my best friend: It’s not like I’ll snatch him away from you. *eye rolls* HAHAHAHA!

 Am I being selfish here? LOL.

Uhhhh. But now, I am good having my boyfriend as my “best friend”, though he’s not acting like one. LOL. But I am contented having him as my confidante, my endorphin and my breather. ❤

But I’m going to leave this here: So how do we consider someone as a best friend, really? Is it about the time you’ve known each other or even though you just met that person in a short time, the connection was enough? I really want to read your thoughts. 🙂

Talking to a stranger was not that bad

It was, I think, 5 or 6 years ago, I still have my BlackBerry that time, when I met a stranger on BBM. It was a chat app installed just for BlackBerry phones. 

It was kind of weird, silly even, to talk over chat, with a person that you even not know nor see. But out of boredom, I tried it.

The app needed a WiFi connection or you just load and use a promo that can allow you to chat with the app. So, I activated my BBM, put it online, some will add me but sometimes I add my friends who’s using the same brand of phone. It was pretty popular that time that many of my mates used it.

Long story short, I met a few strangers but there was this one person that up until now we still have a communication (he added me on Facebook) but I didn’t get to talk to him unlike before (because of the jealous boyfriend). But I still find him comfortable.

So, he started to ask me random questions. I did answer him but not in the open. I, too, asked him some personal questions. Day passed, the conversation didn’t stop because we always have something to talk about. The topics were endless. And it was a first to me because with my friends, I wasn’t able to have a long conversations because I sucks at it. I am not good with texting. It bored the hell out of me. But talking to him was the opposite. It felt like he knew me all my life and considering my lack of sense in conversing through chat (and text), he managed to talk to me until our fingers no longer can type and we even call each other as virtual buddies.

He became my personal diary, letting me to rant out all my frustrations while I am studying, he made me feel better at times when I am not. He kept on telling me stories about his experiences on love and life. He was so open to me. He even sent me a voice recording while singing a few lines of a song on some nights because he’s also in a band. We even tried to meet but it never happened because I was busy studying that time and he was living in Bulacan while me in Manila. The timing was just bad.

I just remembered this story this morning because last night, a friend texted me for the first time after years of not seeing each other. It was a familiar feeling and I was glad that he texted me. I got to open some of my problems (like what happened to me last June), and I think that’s what I just needed.

I am happy that I still have few true friends on my list despite of not seeing them regularly and I am 2 1/2 hours drive away from them. I am in pure bliss to know that there are people who I can lean on, who I can disturb when I feel down, who I can call whenever I want to talk to, that even if I send texts with a HAHAHA, they already know that I am not okay.

Thank you friends! 💓