life update // feels on being not enough + on little things + sienna

whew! I have been in a roller coaster of emotion these past few weeks and I don’t feel myself like I used to. I became distant and unhappy and my mood swings were the worst. I don’t know if it was just the hormones or what but the way i feel about it, I am not liking it.

things are different now – that I know, but I can’t really figure out what’s wrong with me lately. there’s this feeling of neediness which is really not me – in terms of relationships. I used to be brave in facing reality but now I feel so scared, insecure rather, that I kept on telling myself that it is just all in the mind but is not enough. I am trying to be more open and vocal about what I feel but still there’s always a void inside me. I hate this feeling and it’s eating me enough to make me feel not good enough. I know it’s wrong but I can’t deny my feelings all my life. I need a breather, a release from these doubts and insecurity.

another things is, I noticed I crave for little things. is it a bad thing? I can’t remember the last time I feel so giddy and just happy for something. I am talking about my relationship with T. I know that we should keep the fire burning and all, but lately I feel that there’s something missing. maybe we’re just both busy but I just miss those little things.

thank God for giving me my sienna. she’s everything but she growing too fast, too fast she’ll be one on the 2nd of july (wish I could stop time). she really learns fast and that makes me proud haha. I know that babies have their own pace and development. there’s no perfect mothers; I know I am still far from being one and I am still learning, adjusting to this whole new journey and I am loving it. I still want to cherish these little moments while I still can. i know that soon she’ll walk, eat and play on her own but I just want more time to baby her. HAHAHA I think I’ll baby her forever.


featured image: Photo by Pim Chu on Unsplash

6 thoughts on “life update // feels on being not enough + on little things + sienna

  1. Wow mommy ka na pala ❀️❀️❀️ motherhood ang pinakamahirap pero pinakafulfilling na profession hehe. Super cute ni Sienna! ❀️❀️❀️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–

      sobrang agree sa pinakamahirap at pinakafulfilling. kya πŸ’― respect sa mga mommies!!!

      super cute pero super kulit na now. sana baby nalang siya forever. HAHAHAHAHA

      Liked by 1 person

  2. To many things on the mind lovely, you have to take one thought at a time. Sometimes what we long isn’t always what we need, that’s why we need to breathe. And it’s quite alright to feel happy about things, that’s a good feeling, especially in front of your baby because that positivity rubs off on both of you. And there is no perfect parent but, to your baby girl….you are perfect lovely and that’s what counts.🌹

    Liked by 1 person

    1. maybe Im just stressed hahahaha. but thanks! and about the little things, I think I just missed the old times because things are different now that we have Sienna. we are more focused on her. time and priorities, maybe? hehehehe.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That happens but that’s when we just have to relax and slow down, it is allowedπŸ˜‰πŸ˜. And having a little one changes things because she has become your world, that doesn’t have to change the enjoyment you felt with each other, family time is fun and it makes alone time much more cherish able when she is asleep. 😁


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