immortalizing the night I never imagined // have a peek two years ago

So how do I begin this?

I am not the girly type. I never see myself as a model or a beauty queen material or even see myself as beautiful/pretty either. I prefer being the cutie type lol. I don’t like wearing dresses and skirts and I prefer sneakers than sandals. I don’t even own a pair of heels. I don’t wear make-ups, too.

I was still in Manila back then when my mother called me saying that she listed my name for an audition. So I am so shocked and said that I am not doing it without even thinking twice. But mother insisted and told me that I was the one who is chosen to compete for Mutya ning Porac 2015. The first thing that came to my mind is, WTH? I thought she just listed my name for an AUDITION and the next thing I know was I am the one competing for the pageant.

It was the last week of October, and my handler, J called me saying that I should be in Pampanga right away because the practice was scheduled first week of November. I had no choice, right?

That November was so hectic and tiring, really. Aside from the scheduled practice for the pageant, I also need to practice my walk that time, because HELLO, I literally can’t walk wearing a 7-INCH heels. That was the biggest challenge for me that time. But after wearing it almost everyday and even if I was just at home, my handler told me to wear it even if I am just washing the dishes. That’s how I learned how to wear heels. LOL.

My next dilemma was having to wear make-up. So there was a pre-pageant shoots, and other photo and video shoots and guesting scheduled for a whole week, that’s why we had to wear make-up like almost every other day that week. Gosh, my concerned that time was my skin—I am not into beauty products and my skin is so sensitive. Here’s a fact: I don’t even use any face powder until now. I am afraid that I would have a pimple breakout that time, but thank goodness there was no single pimple came out. siguro nakisama na lang din. hahahaha! 

As the pre-pageant was approaching, I was already feeling cold feet and wanted to back-out. I was so nervous that I would just embarrassed myself in a large crowd or I can’t even introduced myself well. I even practiced my talent for only four days, I was afraid that I would make myself a laughing stock there. There was so many things going on in my head that time. But thankful enough that everything went well on our pre-pageant night. I  even received a special award as Miss Close-up Smile. LOL. XD

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I experienced a lot of firsts that night. It was my first time wearing two-piece and walking on stage with a large crowd wearing that. T~T It was the first time that I really see myself as beautiful and thought that I can do things like that—joining a beauty pageant. Another fact is, I never became a muse back in high school, and I never tried walking like a model on stage too. But I’m glad I experienced it that night.

Oh, there was a text voting too. Sosyal di ba? XD

I realized that beauty pageants is not just about beauty and brain; it is about the experience that you’ll be holding on and the people you will meet and the camaraderie that was created on that short span of time. It is never easy and you need to prepare and to have a lot of confidence not just physically but also mentally. You don’t need to be gorgeous for you to join a beauty pageant, for me it is from the way you handle yourself and the purpose you have in mind, to promote your advocacy and to share what beauty beyond the physicality means.

Even though I didn’t won that night, being in the Top 10 was really an achievement for me, given that it was my first time too. It was an experience that I never imagined. Going out of your comfort zone will not be easy but you just need to prove to yourself that you can—that’s the first step.

By the way, one of my co-candidates here in Mutya ning Porac 2015, who won the crown that night and also the reigning Mutya ning Kapampangan 2016 is now competing for Eat Bulaga’s Miss Millenial 2017. Please do support Ms. Jasmin Bungay as she competes as Miss Millenial Pampanga. Click her name for more details.

♡ A

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photos grabbed // ctto