note to self

i know that you have so much regrets in the past, and that you can’t go back in time to change any of it. but i just want to say that it’s okay, you are still okay and you’ll be okay. but

i wished you were strong enough that time, strong enough to make your own decisions and not get easily swayed with a single word; that you had the gut to say whatever it is in your heart, whether if it’s right or wrong. i know it has been hard for you to keep all those words to yourself and all those misunderstandings and shortcomings. now, i am saying this to you: don’t be afraid of what others might think or say about you. it’s more important to open yourself up, say what you really want to say, may it be an opinion or an argument and even if others might don’t understand you, at least you have said what you really wanted to say.

i wished you got to experience life more, though there’s more. i know you wanted to please everyone around you before, that’s why you acted upon their approval and forgot to let yourself to had fun. i know it was your choice too but what i am trying to say is, i wished you go out more with your friends, had your sleepover and movie nights. i know you always say no because you always think of what your family would say. you don’t want them to be disappointed, that you only think of was their expectations. but you see, i think what you did was so selfish. you were being selfish on yourself. you never let yourself to live life and you focus more on other’s opinion, but the truth is, you forgot to have your own opinion on yourself. now, i am saying this to you: YOLO: you only live once so make the most out of life. you don’t want to regret all the things that you should have done so start now.

maybe you think that it was too late but it’s not. you have more time in your hands. you are still young, and there’s more adventures and trials yet to come along your way but you’ll be fine, i promise and i believe in you. you just need to open your eyes in all possibilities and just do what makes you happy. also, don’t expect too much — on life in general.

you deserve to live a happy life!