As much as possible I keep this blog’s existence unknown to the people I know which includes (1) my family and (2) some of the closest friends because the very reason why I made this little space in the internet is to get away from their eyes.
I re-activated my Facebook just for them so that they know that I am still alive and breathing but I am not much active there (because my feed is full of sh*ts and toxic people & the negativity is sort of contagious, and I am keeping myself away from that bacause I have enough of those) and so in Instagram. I rarely post any photos of mine because (1) my iPhone’s broken, not that I can’t use the camera of it but (2) I lost interest on posting any photos of mine. I felt like I am telling the whole world that I am happy and smiling on the outside and have no problem at all but in reality it is the opposite.
I just wanted a space for me to write all my thoughts without being judge by those eyes. You know that feeling right? I am not hiding nor being safe here. I am the kind of person who’s not comfortable talking to a relative or even if you are my best friend. Coming from an experience where I am trying to be open to them and instead of expecting them to console me or understand me, they put me to blame and from then, I started keeping it to myself.
And luckily found this little space. Here I don’t feel alone, no one’s judging me and my words and most of all, I am learning from other’s experiences. I crave for those consolations and understandings before but thanks to this, I dont need it anymore.